SnV Forums

[Otogi-san]

Stolen from the mighty fortress of Brian Clevinger:

So this has pissed me off for a while. Like, hm, twenty years.

How did Dick become short for Richard? I could take Rick without raising an eyebrow. I liken it unto tolerating lichen -- ohhh, see what I did there?

We can examine this Dick/Richard thing scientifically, but all it will do is shatter your every confidence in all empirical knowledge. Watch:

Obviously, there's a pattern at work here. The D in Dick didn't come out of nowhere. This isn't some kind of goddamn Moon-D. It's right there at the end of Richard.

So, okay. Step one. Take the last letter of your original name and make it the first letter.

That explains that.

Now what about that K? That, well, that is a Moon-K.

So now our second step is to replace the fourth letter of the original name with a K for no reason at all. Fine.

Therefore, according to the logic of the Richard-to-Dick transformation, Nrik is obviously short for Brian.

One addition to the system: if you don't have at least four letters in your name, you have no business searching for a shorter version of your name. So stop pouting.

Lank.

[cow_with_gun]

Yefk

Lank is pretty good...

So it's just the last letter goes first, and the fourth changes into k?

[dodger]

Ytrk. No vowels, I win.

I don't know why people always assume that Troy is short for something. It's not. It is also not a "gay" name, so what the hell people.

[Terri]

Ierk.

Or... Ahek, if you use "my real name."

Dick is better.

...

[dodger]

Terri, I'm suprised at you. Don't you know that doctors say penis.

[fruiterian]

Natk?
I think.

Kathryn... Nathry... Natk.

I like Ierk. It reminds me of some kind of Star Trek thing.
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[Sharp]

Nrek.

I am nrek, destroyer of worlds!

[Mavhunter]

Kark? I guess.
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[Terri]

[Mavhunter]

[Terri]

[Mavhunter]

[Steveo]

bait and tackle
boner (Refers to erection)
choad (penis with greater girth than length)
chubby (Refers to erection)
cock
Crotch Pickle
dick
ding-a-ling
ding-dong
dingy (childish)
dinkle
dong
dork
endowment
fascinum
flander doodle
fuck stick
fun gun
the fury
gherkin
hammer
hampton (Cockney rhyming slang, "W:Hampton Wick"="prick")
hose (fire, etc)
knob
love gun (popularised by the band Kiss)
love pump
john thomas (popularised by Lady Chatterley's Lover)
johnson
joystick
junk
lad (Ireland)
Light saber
love muscle ("Russell the")
main vein
manhood
meat puppet
member
Mr. Happy (As sung by 'Weird Al' Yankovic)
Mr. Jim and the Twins
Mr. Winky (Dr. Winky or just Winky in less formal settings)
one-eyed trouser snake
organ
package
pecker
peener
pee-pee (childish)
pee-wee (childish)
percy
peter
pickle
pink oboe
piny tenis "code" for tiny penis
pocket rocket
pole (pink, purple, sex, etc)
Pork Sword
prick
pud
purple-headed womb broom
purple-headed yogurt slinger
ram rod (Roger)
red headed stranger
Rumple Foreskin
sausage
shaft
shit pole
shlong
spirit stick
staff (chief of)
stiffy (Refers to erection)
skin flute
tallywhacker
thing
todger (Australia, UK also tadger)
tonker (From Terry Pratchett's "Lords and Ladies")
tool
trouser snake
tube steak
twig and berries
unit
wang
wee-wee (childish)
wiener (childish)
wife's best friend
willie
winkle
Woody (Refers to erection)
Stuart (Refers to ROD! stewart)
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MY BARF is TASTIER than Yours!!!

[Sharp]

You forgot wii.

[Mushroom Pie]

Eukk.
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