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THE Moosed

Luke: You should really post it, Julie, it's funny.
Me: But I wrote it in the seventh grade. It sucks.
Luke: DO IT OR I'LL TURN YOUR EARS INSIDE-OUT WITH A SPORK.

Yes, that was an actual (and only slightly altered) AIM conversation. And yes, I was thirteen when I wrote this story, hence the sucky writing.

The Little Town of Fotslingham
A charming tale of friendship and adventure
By Julie

Once upon a time in there was a man named Ed Davis. This story is not about him. It's just that there was one once upon a time, so I thought I'd mention it. Anyway, there was also a town called Fotslingham. In the town of Fotslingham, everyone was polite to one another. They all cleaned up after themselves and no one left any messes yet to be cleaned up. It was a beautiful town in which the denizens would plant roses that grew up the sides of their houses. Some of the denizens even planted roses up the sides of other people’s houses just to be nice, as they always were, and always enjoyed being. There were colorful toadstools everywhere, on which the ecstatic denizens could sit. The houses were all colored brilliant shades of pink, yellow, or some other color that would make even the saddest passer-bier cheer up a bit. The grass was all freshly mowed and usually stayed that way. No one had ever gone a day without being showered with love by their parents or friends. Come to think of it, no one had ever gone a day without being showered with love by complete strangers that also happened to live in the happy town of Fotslingham. In short, everyone was happy.

This story is about a little girl of only seven. The little girl’s name was Mary-Beth. She was a pretty little girl who was dressed like every other little girl in Fotslingham: she had a pink, fluffy dress with a large, pink bow tied neatly in her hair. Her hair was fixed into neat, little blond curls and she looked just like the Little Miss Muffet from story books. The only difference between her and Little Miss Muffet is that the person who created this particular character was intelligent enough to give her a real name like Mary-Beth.

The only thing that separated Mary-Beth from other children was that she had no friends. This was extremely rare in Fotslingham, as everyone was nice to everyone else and no one felt at all left out. Mary-Beth was simply different. She was a sweet little girl, and there was no reason she shouldn't have any friends. It seems that she just didn't want to make any, but I don't know that for sure.

One beautiful day, which is not saying much at all about anything, as every day was beautiful in Fotslingham, Mary-Beth went out in search of a friend. This was perfectly unlike her because she normally was happy with the no friends she had. Anyway, Mary-Beth ran off and started searching in the beautiful forest of Fotslingham. Just like the town, the forest was friendly. It was full of colorful flowers and friendly bunnies which could charm anyone. There were no snakes, wildcats, or wolfs in the forest of Fotslingham; only bunnies, small birds, butterflies, deer, flowers, and beautiful trees with flowers growing up the sides of them.

As she was going, she came upon a pink pony. She walked up close to the pony and found that its leg was trapped in a rose bush. It was struggling and whining in a pathetic high voice.

“Excuse me,” said Mary-Beth in a little child-like voice.

“Please help me, little girl,” squeaked the pony.

Mary-Beth inspected the pony’s tangled leg. “I think I can fix this,” she said to herself. She bit the vine several times. Finally, it snapped, freeing the pony. The pony stood up and faced her.

“Thank you for freeing me, little girl.” said the pony.

“My name’s not ‘little girl.’” said Mary-Beth. “It’s Mary-Beth. What’s yours?”

The pony frowned. He had never been asked this question before. “My name is Fluffykins.” He said.

“Will you be my friend, Fluffykins?” said Mary-Beth in a cheerful voice.

Fluffykins frowned again. He had never been asked this before either. “Oh, of course I will.” Fluffykins said, a devious smile slowly forming on his friendly face.

Mary-Beth was overjoyed at the news, so she ran to show her new friend to all the overly happy denizens who lived back at Fotslingham.

~*~*~

About an hour later, Mary-Beth found that she was still wandering around the Fotslingham Forest. She stopped and scratched her head, “I know we went the wrong way,” she said. “We should have gone the other direction.”

Fluffykins looked around himself. “I think you might be right, Mary-Beth. What shall we do?”

“Well,” she said. “We’re going to have to turn around from here.”

Fluffykins nodded and they turned to go the way of which they came. They had not gone far when Mary-Beth got tired and they stopped to rest. She sat down on a log beside a bunny (who was unafraid of humans because there they were all peaceful in Fotslingham). Fluffykins stood on her other side and said nothing.

“I’m getting a bit hungry,” Mary-Beth said. “I should not have wondered so far from home.”

Fluffykins nodded in agreement, “I think you’re right.” He then ate her.

The End

Its_The_Sneak!!! · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:15 am Post subject:

hey, that's quite nice. I like the Adamsian addressing of the audience.

but... I didn't know Mushpie was so abusive....
you shouldn't tolerate that.
_________________
Come into my den let me hear you cluck
You can be my hen and we can f(Bu-GAWK)
A bite to the leg, it's time to play
Baby, let me be your egg that needs to get laid.
- CEO Nwabudike Morgan
"The Chicken of Lust"

Mushroom Pie

Mavhunter · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:21 am Post subject:

That ending was terrible! The pony ATE her!?
_________________

Its_The_Sneak!!! · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:23 am Post subject:

Mary-Beth had it coming though. The moral of the story is to not help strangers; it may kill you.
_________________
Come into my den let me hear you cluck
You can be my hen and we can f(Bu-GAWK)
A bite to the leg, it's time to play
Baby, let me be your egg that needs to get laid.
- CEO Nwabudike Morgan
"The Chicken of Lust"

Mavhunter · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:24 am Post subject:

Mushroom Pie · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:24 am Post subject:

I think it's closer to "Don't ever make friends, you social-outcast weirdo."
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THE Moosed · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:31 am Post subject:

I think Mushpie was the closest there. XD

And as for the abuse thing, I very possibly abuse him more than he does me. So he's tolerable. Occasionally.

Sharp · Gender: Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 5942 Status: User

Go mushpie! Abuse that *bleep*! Wink

THE Moosed · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:36 am Post subject:

the bunk · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:38 am Post subject:

i can see right through your forum censoring ways, sharp.
_________________

Sharp · Gender: Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 5942 Status: User

It was to show I was joking. I'd neverr call her a -removed by the MAN-.

you fail at censoring, nublt. just go "*bleep*" and don't lie about other people censoring you.

Its_The_Sneak!!! · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:42 am Post subject:

I see through that one.
_________________
Come into my den let me hear you cluck
You can be my hen and we can f(Bu-GAWK)
A bite to the leg, it's time to play
Baby, let me be your egg that needs to get laid.
- CEO Nwabudike Morgan
"The Chicken of Lust"

Jinks · Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:29 am Post subject:

I work with a guy called Ed Davis.

.... weird how that worked out.
_________________

Nar laga Dia do lamh

Steveo · Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:10 am Post subject: