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Yazz · Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:49 am Post subject:

two blondes walk into a building,

you would have thought the second one would have seen it.
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"Everyone makes choices in this world, sometimes we choose right and sometimes we choose wrong, with that in mind no matter what we choose we should aim to have fun no matter what we are doing." Yazz

Otogi-san · gleep glorp Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 5077 Status: User

I chuckled. Smile

Yazz · Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:21 am Post subject:

WARNING! CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE!
now thats there you can enjoy/ not enjoy the joke at your leisure

A lonely truck driver was transporting chickens interstate when he came across a broken down car in the middle of no where.
there was a woman outside the car so he slowed down to talk to her.
"do you need a lift love?" he asked
"yeah, just a couple kms down the road to the peterol station would be great" she replied
"alright" he said, "but only if you fuck me, no fuck no ride"
"Fuck you!" she said " i don't need a lift that badly"
so the truckie kept on driving.
now as i said before the truck driver was lonely and as such he had a pet in the front with him, a parrot that could talk, and by chance the parrot chose to keep repeating the words,"No fuck no ride, no fuck no ride".
After a few minutes of the parrot screaming his new favourite words over and over the truckie tunred to the parrot and yelled, "if you say that one more time i'll throw you in the back with the chickens!"
10 or so minutes go by and the parrot couldn't help himself and let fly with "No fuck no ride".
the truckie slammed on the brakes, grabbed the parrot violently and throws it into the back of the truck with all the chickens, then he took off again down the road.
About half an hour later a police car signals for the truckie to pull over so he does, unsure of what he's down wrong. when the policeman walks up he asks, "what have i done wrong officer? i wasn't speeding was i?"
"no" replies the policeman, "i just thought you'd like to know there is a parrot throwing chickens out the back of your truck screaming, No fuck no ride"

yes its a long joke, but its funny if told right.
_________________
"Everyone makes choices in this world, sometimes we choose right and sometimes we choose wrong, with that in mind no matter what we choose we should aim to have fun no matter what we are doing." Yazz

Steveo · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:23 pm Post subject:

BAPTIZING A DRUNK ....A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"

The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again - but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
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MY BARF is TASTIER than Yours!!!

RockmanWilliam · Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:35 pm Post subject:

The gross profit from Snakes on a Plane.
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Yazz · Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:03 am Post subject:

there are two paddocks that located right next to each other,there are two bulls in one, an old one and a young one. and in the other paddock there are a whole herd of cows. One morning the young bull looks over and sees them and shouts, "lets run over there and screw one of them cows!", "no" replies the older more mature one, "Lets walk over there and screw them all".
_________________
"Everyone makes choices in this world, sometimes we choose right and sometimes we choose wrong, with that in mind no matter what we choose we should aim to have fun no matter what we are doing." Yazz